The Big Pitch

All right all you go, go,go hipster kids
Peel your eyes from your iPhones, Androids, thing-a-majigs and what nots,
And take a gander at this goose bump inducing wonder!
It’s the latest, up-to-datest, fantabulous, stupendous, catching on like fire
–careful, I think it may be contagious–
new thing to hit the street since plastic peacock feathers and ironic sweaters!
I’m talking big, big, big, the boss is coming over, break out the good plates!
Step in line now, son, you don’t want to wait.!
It’s the greatest show on earth!
No, I’m not talking about Barnum & Bailey’s cotton-candy-corn clownpacalypse to haunt your dreams,
trust me folks this will go down smooth like Irish cream!
Let me give you a little taste of this Elixir du vie.
Just a drop on the tip of the tongue is guaranteed to put you at ease.
Mother’s take note, it’s known to rock even the most colicky baby to sleep!
Why, on the dry sands of life, you’ll be wading in fluvial effervescence waist deep!
Float downstream on a cushion of aquatic opulence until you hit the beach!
Our competitors thought surely the tide must be high but it’s really neap!
You see it’s rising fast and everything must go!
Just three tens and eleven nines to see the show!
Take it from me, friend, that’s filthy dirt cheap!
Step right up, step right up and get the next best seat!

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